Middle kid's first accident. In the '88 300E
Leaving beauty parlor after getting coiffed for Homecoming Prom. backing out of parking lot sideswipped a light pole. Bent the driver's door just aft of the door hinge and broke the mirror hinge. Kid home in tears, basket case, all her fault, never gonna drive again, etc. That's a pre-emptive strike and totally unfair. I didn't get a chance to blow my my top.
Instead I immediately fell into 'consoling Dad routine #4', where you tell them exactly the opposite of what you are actually thinking.
"No, honey, I'm not angry. I'm glad you're not hurt and nobody else is hurt." <I'd like to put a knot on your head and foot in yerass, myself!>
"You're a good driver." <Good God! The lightpole has been there 40 years! It was there when you parked, for goodness sake!>
"Yes, you can borrow my car tonight." <I have now given evidence that I have no spine and my mind is totally f**ked.>
Well, she's gotta pay for repairs herself, so that's probably just under $1,000 that she's slowly accumulated from hard work babysitting over nearly 4 years. We're getting her business cards to put in upscale health clubs and churches to get some more babysitting. She makes darned-good money at it--$10-$15/hr. Idle time is going to be hard to find.