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Discussion Starter #1
Just wanted to let everyone that is familiar with the case (from a post at mbshop) know that my oldest son is doing real good now. Good grades in school (A's and B's) and best of all HE STARTED HIS FIRST JOB YESTERDAY!!!!!!! He is bagging groceries at the local Kroger but at least it is a start seeing as how he will not be 16 until March of next year.

Ya'll don't know how good this makes me and the wife feel. It is almost like he has seen the light.

I think he is going to be fine:).
 

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No kidding! That is great news, Eng. I guess we've all been following this awful year or so you've gone through. Nothing like a job to give a kid direction in his life. Hope his Mom is doing better, too.
 

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Jim, this is great news to hear!! Goes to show what a little responsibility can do for a kid. It's been a difficult year for all of you, glad it seems to be over.

Good news!!
 

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Good news indeed.

Now you need to teach him how to bag a doctor wife and he will live happily ever after! :wink:
 

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Discussion Starter #7
I think a couple/few things have help turn him around. The first being his probation officer has helped him and the other is the fact that the girl that was sneaking out of her house and coming over in the early morning (1 am) has moved a long way away - thank goodness. Oh yea - he has been taking something called Strattera that seems to help him focus and stay alot calmer than he used to be.

Ya'll would not believe how this has made the wife and I feel:). Things are ALOT more peaceful around the house these days. I'm even considering building something like a "den" in the shop I am building to give these kids/teenagers a place to hang out. Big screen tv, couch, etc...
 

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Reconsider the kid's den.

You guys need more family interaction, not less. Have one TV in a comfy room and learn to enjoy the programs they like. Help them learn what you like. If you don't like their stuff, get a book and sit in there and read for a half-hour while they watch TV during the evening. Build on the communication you've started. Your presence and appreciation or tolerance lets them know you value their lives. Its something to build on.
 

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Ribulose Diphosphate said:
Reconsider the kid's den.

You guys need more family interaction, not less. Have one TV in a comfy room and learn to enjoy the programs they like. Help them learn what you like. If you don't like their stuff, get a book and sit in there and read for a half-hour while they watch TV during the evening. Build on the communication you've started. Your presence and appreciation or tolerance lets them know you value their lives. Its something to build on.
I was going to advise to watch "That '70's Show" for discouragement.
 

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Ribulose Diphosphate said:
Reconsider the kid's den.

You guys need more family interaction, not less. Have one TV in a comfy room and learn to enjoy the programs they like. Help them learn what you like. If you don't like their stuff, get a book and sit in there and read for a half-hour while they watch TV during the evening. Build on the communication you've started. Your presence and appreciation or tolerance lets them know you value their lives. Its something to build on.
I think I'd second that thought. As much as I wished we'd had a bit bigger house to raise our kids in, it did keep things close between us all, whether they wanted it or not. They had their bedrooms to hang out in for privacy, but I don't think a whole lot ever went on that we weren't aware of sooner or later. The teen years are tough enough to get thru for both the kids and the parents. Now that we're pretty much done with that phase of raising kids, were a pretty tight-knit family.
 

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glad to hear it, Jim.

I was a juvenile court case-worker for the probation department in a past life, and we very often found crabby, bitter people in the probation departments of other counties. Feel very fortunate that you found someone who cares about building a successful adult rather than punishing your kid.

Every kid who I knew growing up who had a space of their own ended up abusing it and getting into trouble. Get him out to help you with the new workshop, and maybe wrenching a bit- include some friends in that too. It's difficult, but he probably doesnt need the temptation of that free space.

I don't remember the specifics of your son's case..., but many of the kids (some as young as 10) that I had in my caseload were sexually active; another reason to be leery of the separate den... Probably not a bad idea to have some sort of talk about that stuff too, especially if it's been a while...

good luck!
Kevin
 

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Discussion Starter #14
He has been sexually active. One night about 3 am the mother of the girl that was sneaking over rang the doorbell. We (the wife and I at least) were sound asleep. I put on some shorts and went to the door and the mother said that her car and her daughter were at my house. Sure enough, the girl had sneaked out and taken her mothers Acura over and climbed into my sons bedroom window. They were piled up in the bed. The mother got the girl and they took off. The father figure in that family is in prison and I'm sure the girl will eventually end up there. Anyway, like I said, thankfully they have moved.

On the "den" thing, I'm thinking more along the lines of a place for these teen boys to hang out. Heck - I can put a basketball goal on the side of the concrete section. Right now they seem to hang out at one of his friends house where the parents are never at home and you know how that kind of stuff goes. Anyway, if I get them set up with a cool place to hang out I can kinda be around to keep an eye on them. He has indicated that he would be interested in NOPI'ing out his mothers Honda CRV so we may start with something like that - big speakers, header, duel OH cam engine, etc...

I considered building a pool for he and his friends to hang out at but that is all I need - a bunch of young girls running around here in next to nothing bikinis;) - lol - jk.
 

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engatwork said:
On the "den" thing, I'm thinking more along the lines of a place for these teen boys to hang out. Heck - I can put a basketball goal on the side of the concrete section.
I considered building a pool for he and his friends to hang out at but that is all I need - a bunch of young girls running around here in next to nothing bikinis;) - lol - jk.
1: Basketballs make BIG dents in cars
2: I can tell you from experience, having a pool that teenage boys bring their girlfriends to makes things hard
 

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....just noticed this thread.

That is really good news, Jim.

Just remember that it's important for you and your wife to remain consistent in your approach, teach him that actions have consequences, and to always maintain a unified front between you and your wife.
 
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